Of Needs & Needing

Sometimes it isn't enough just to be needed. Sometimes, it is nice to be needed by someone who wants and needs YOU! It seems that the ability to satisfy someone's need in ways that others cannot somehow validates the value of one's existence . . . and some days, affirms that one DOES really exist! ;-)

Reality

It really doesn't matter how it IS. What matters is how it FEELS!

The Color of Joy

Some impressions are so indelible that no matter how many waves crash against the shores of the soul and no matter how much time passes, they do not disappear. The words, "Joy, like the color purple, is everywhere. You just have to look for it!" were like that for her.

Smiles

A genuine smile is merely a symbol for, or token of something bigger, wider, broader, and deeper--analogous to earnest money on emotions.

Foreground v. Background

As we move through the landscape of our days, we position ourselves in relationship to it—sometimes in the foreground, sometimes in the background, sometimes somewhere in between, and sometimes outside of the picture itself (think Las Meninas).

As our eyes, minds, and hearts/emotions/spirits travel over what is in the picture and work to make sense of it all, they privilege certain elements of the composition, foregrounding some, which has the relativistic effect of causing others to recede (regardless of their "true" position in the picture).

The way each picture is "framed" (think perspectives here) also makes a huge difference as to what appears to be foregrounded, etc.

So the resulting composition is as much a product of the position of the viewer and of the forces the different "pieces of the view" exert on it as it is of what is actually on the canvas. The interaction of the various elements is dynamic, not static, and may vary depending on the nature, intensity, and angle of the light hitting it at any given moment.

1) The physical senses, the mind, and the emotions each exert a force on our physical reality.

2) Because the mind, the heart, and the senses are connected—when one exerts a force, it affects the others—and because the elements of our physical reality are connected, when a force is exerted on one element of the reality, it affects other facets as well. If forces are exerted in disproportionate ways, they have the potential to distort the resulting picture.

3) Our thoughts and our choices control, to a great extent, the type, amount, and recipient of the forces.

MY AHA :

Perhaps balance (in art, in life, in relationships) isn't so much about the quantity of A vs. B vs. C as it is about composition, position, and perspective!

Play - A Critical Step

Play is a critical step in the synthesis process.

The Gift of the Fireflies

Last night, a friend of mine gave me the gift of the fireflies. "They live in the fields," he said. "At this time of year, they are just covered with them." Well, absent a conveniently located field, I thought I would try a nearby vacant lot filled with tall grass instead. To my intense delight, I encountered hundreds of blinking fireflies, winking off and on, on and off! It was like watching a well-crafted poem in action. The rhythm of their blinks created a percussive background onto which was overlayed a number of other motifs, created by the height and depth of their constantly moving locations in the compositional space (in this case, the grassy
field). It was lovely--particularly when combined with the symphonic accompaniment provided by the sounds of the crickets, the frogs, and the breeze.

I tried to photograph them and learned a lot about the flash settings for nighttime photos on my camera, but I didn't have much luck with the fireflies themselves. I thought that I might be able to capture them using the movie feature on my camera instead . . . but when that also yielded less than satisfactory results, I finally just put the camera away. I stood and watched until I could no longer stand the mosquitoes--laughing at the fact that I had been so much more interested in capturing the experience so that I could share it with others than in actually experiencing it!

Colors

The blue in her had spent her entire life trying to explain the green and the gold in her to the rest of the world.

She Felt Like a Stale Chip

She had lost her appetite for life, and although every once in awhile she got a little hungry, it was difficult for her to eat anymore. She wanted her old self back--well, maybe not all of it, but at least parts of it!

Thoughts v. Feelings - Round 1

The inherent nature of feelings makes them impossible to fully expunge—even from a “cold, rational, logic-based world.” Humanity does a great job of “pushing them aside” or locking them up in boxes (compartmentalization), and of then convincing itself that it has managed to separate the logical from the illogical, thought from feelings, etc.

However, I think there is an ever-present (albeit somewhat delicate, nebulous, ephemeral, and, often, almost imperceptible—sometimes like a gas, at others, more like a vapor) layer of feelings that permeates all thought (“layer” is not the right word because it brings an icing-like image to mind, and I don’t really mean that, maybe thread of feelings?)—a deep and underlying connection between thoughts and feelings that cannot ever be completely severed (or, if it can be, that such a severing is what allows some of the terrible things that occur in this world to occur). A good analogy might be the Peter Panesque idea of trying to separate a shadow from a body. The circumstances (how bright the light of the context in which the entity appears) determine the strength of the shadow—sometimes the presence of feelings is more evident than others (I know, I know, an EXTREMELY imperfect analogy) . . . . but do you get the general idea I am trying to convey here?

I suspect that many people who pride themselves on their rationalism and objectivity and who accomplish much in that realm are probably guided much more by their feelings when they arrive at “objective, rational, logical” conclusions and decisions than they would be comfortable admitting. Most such people would probably agree to the idea of “intuitive, logical leaps” but, in their minds, believe that such leaps are distinct and unrelated to “the emotional” or to “feelings”—which they tend to associate with illogical, even irrational thoughts and behaviors.

I think that because feelings connect what is outside of us with “the essential” that is inside of us, we tend to view them as an Achilles heel. The knowledge that there is such a direct conduit and point of access to our deepest and most fragile vulnerabilities is more than uncomfortable—so we push feelings aside, try to impose boundaries on them, deny their existence, etc. To take that a step further, I think that feelings are more difficult to manage than thoughts because they tend to take forms that are more diffuse than thoughts. Consequently, thoughts seem more “concrete” to us, and “feelings” seem . . . I don’t know . . . incidental? They are certainly messier than thoughts, whose structure and components often seem more clearly defined, and, therefore, more trustworthy.

I suppose I am advocating for the idea that there are many different ways to “know” something, that thinking and feeling are BOTH tools for gaining knowledge, that there are other tools besides just those two (experiencing, for example), and that a skilled craftsman (or craftswoman) understands that there is great power in having a variety of quality implements in his or her toolbox, in knowing which tools are available, in using the appropriate tool for the appropriate task at the appropriate time, and in knowing why one is better than another for accomplishing a specific task.